A psicologa ontem mexeu mais do que nunca comigo. Acho que nunca me senti tão triste desde que perdi minha ex a mto tempo atras. Ela tocou justamente nos problemas extremamente intimos e pessoais entre minha noiva e eu e de minha omissão quanto a tudo isso, sobre tudo que ja tentei fazer e que ja desisti por nunca nada dar resultado.
Agora eu preciso criar energias para me manter vivo, respirando…. mesmo sem ter um pingo de vontade.
Death
Hoje até que não estou com vontade de morrer… Mas não estou com vontade de viver, ou de trabalhar, ou de comer pouco, sorrir. Tomara que tenha muito trabalho pra ocupar a cabeça.
Blogs e sucesso
Fico reparando como tem blog de sucesso por ai.. Pena que blog nerd esta longe de fazer sucesso.
Teste
Teste
Time to help community!
Hell, I got an idea.
After 2 perfect days at LinuxCon .br I decided I should change some of my thoughts regarding speeches and helping community. So many friends help the community and I decided I should do the same.
From now on I will start writing howtos and speeches with things I know.
I guess I’ll start with slackware+jboss and a good way to improve performance.
Rebel..
This week is just beggining and I’m already angry. I have reasons to be and all of them are related to work. IBM stopped caring about my career, my thoughts, my ideas. Funny to see at least IBM cares with a few people.
They can’t take care of so many employees and based on that they decide to care only for those who know how to suck a cock. Fuck them all…
Need to move on
After 5 years working here (big blue), I feel I need to leave and there is more than 1 reason… All the money I left in their hands.. I guess I need it to pay a couple things and to tattoo my arms.
I’m waiting for the last minute to ask to leave but this is making me feel bad and making me lose money. So, why can’t I simply say good bye and leave?? fear.. yeah.. I hate this feeling.
I’m waiting a couple interviews I did become job offers so I can leave.
The funny thing is that I could leave now and take the money I have to stay at home and search for another job from there… but I dunno.. so many things to think of… sux.
I need someone who can hear me.. to dump all my bad feelings kept inside my mind.
E comeca a semana de trabalho
Ontem eu nao fui trabalhar, simplesmente tinha algo mto importante.. uma entrevista que pode me tirar daqui. Bom, ja vi pelos emails que sera uma semana de muita raiva a nao ser que eu decida pedir a demis
sao e ver o que acontece.
Nao sei se corro o risco de ficar sem emprego tempo suficiente até acabar meu dinheiro mas ta chegando num patamar que ja nao estou ligando muito pra isso. Estou torcendo muito mesmo pra que o emprego de c
erto pois parece ser um ambiente menos pior do que aqui (acreditar que existe um ambiente bom esta cada vez mais dificil)
Eu apenas queria saber por que a IBM piorou tanto a sua qualidade no respeito a vida de quem ela contrata. Isso me irrita, me incomoda e me faz querer desrespeitar a IBM tanto quanto ela me desrespeita.
Me senti muito bem ontem indo fazer entrevistas e olha que antes eu ficava com medo, ansioso… mas nao fico mais. Acho que a raiva que eu tenho passado tem sido parte do meu aprendizado. Me tornar alguem
mais tolerante e menos inocente com relacao aos empregadores. Nao importa o nome e o peso dele mas sim as atitudes de quem esta acima de voce.
A empresa pode ate ter conquistado um nome, mas talves foi por outros que podem nao estar acima de voce.
Korn – Alone I Break
Pick me up
Been bleeding too long
Right here, right now
I’ll stop it somehow
I will make it go away
Can’t be here no more
Seems this is the only way
I will soon be gone
These feelings will be gone
These feelings will be gone
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn’t seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?
Shut me off
I’m ready, heart stops
I stand alone
Can’t be on my own
I will make it go away
Can’t be here no more
Seems this is the only way
I will soon be gone
These feelings will be gone
These feelings will be gone
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn’t seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?
Am I going to leave this place?
What is it I’m running from?
Is there nothing more to come?
(Am I gonna leave this place?)
Is it always black in space?
Am I going to take its place?
Am I going to win this race?
(Am I going to leave this race?)
I guess God’s up in this place?
What is it that I’ve become?
Is there something more to come?
More to come
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn’t seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn’t seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?
Korn – Somebody Someone
I can’t stand to let you in
I’m just watching you
And I don’t know what to do
Feeling like a fool inside
Feeling all the lies you hide
Thought you were my friend
Seems it never ends
I need somebody, someone
Can’t somebody help me?
All I need is to be
Loved just for me
Giving you this and that
Giving, get nothing back
It’s all related to
All the things I do
Feeling like a fool inside
Seeming all the things you tried
I am nothing
I need somebody, someone
Can’t somebody help me?
All I need is to be
Loved just for me
I look
I sign
I need
Someone
Inside
To help
Me out
With what
I’m trying
I’m crying
I’m frying
In a pile of
Shit
I’m dying
I’m dying
I’m dying
I need somebody (someone)
Somebody (somebody)
Someone
I need somebody (someone)
Somebody (somebody)
Someone
Someone